


Skin is so pale, I see through

by tastinglove



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec-centric - Freeform, Angst, Internal Conflict, M/M, Shadowhunters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-26 12:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6240172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tastinglove/pseuds/tastinglove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Magnus Bane smiles at him, his body and mind  don’t seem to know how to work. Magnus is enigmatic. He is like a lighthouse. Attracting everything and everyone around him for many, many reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Raising Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!  
> This was supposed to be a small insight into Alec's mind during 1x04.. like 500 words.. yeah... that didn't quite work out. 
> 
> I just relate to Alec way too much. 
> 
> Oops. I said it. Maybe it's slightly worrying that this is so angsty then....
> 
> Enjoy?!
> 
> (Title: Lyrics from Take Your Time by the Cary Brothers)

He can already feel the heavy air around him. The flickering fluorescent lights pulsating with his heartbeat. People creating heat waves with their bodies, tinging the atmosphere around them with their sweat and perfume. 

The music in the background is too loud, the room too crowded and his hands feel to clammy. It’s all too much and he would rather be anywhere else right now. But no one seems to care what he wants, so once again he will have to suck it up and get this over with it. The sooner this is done, the sooner they can leave. Or escape. Because if he’s being honest, he does feel quite trapped right now. It’s not even necessarily the danger that might surprise all of them, no, it’s the feeling of being out of his element, his form, his usual self. The self he understands and knows how to control. Somehow he can’t snap out of it right now. Porgrammed to use his instincts and weapons and logic. Yet all of these strangers around him are only guided by their own rhythm and desires and flesh. The sight is twisting his insides and he really just needs to focus but it’s all just so bloody distracting. 

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Jace and Clary stepping away and his gaze follows them for just a couple of seconds. How their shoulder touch and the backs of their hands slowly bump together witth their steps. He wonders if Jace is as aware as he is. Wonders if he can feel the warmth and the fabric of Clary’s dress and the slight tingle of her hair on his shoulder. He can’t help but question if Jace likes it. He hates himself for that thought. His lips only curl downwards ever so slightly but he know Izzy noticed when she says

“Can you at least try not to look like you’d rather disappear into thin air than spend one more moment in here?“ Alec turns to face her and watches her expression. Raised eyebrows and a curved glossy smile. She knows what this is about. She always does. It terrifies him, that she can read him so well. 

“Of course I could. But then again... I think you’re showing enough joy for both of us.“ He gives her a pointed look and hopes that his conversation is over and done with it. He loves his sister more than anything and vice versa. He is very much aware of that. But that also means that as much as he can see right through her, she can see right through him. And he’s already too busy building walls around him for everyone else. Walls way too high to conquer and tear down. It’s easier that way. Safer. Sometimes he thinks that Izzy gets it. But then she keeps trying to get through to him, past his shield or armor. There are times where he’s not quite sure whether she’s simply successful at it or whether he lets her do it. 

“Well.. this is one of the biggest parties of the year. And I intend to enjoy it big time..“ They’re smirking at eachother now and he knows she let go of the topic. Does she think that if she just continues trying and probing at him.. that one day he’ll just crack and spill? Surely, she must know that he is much more resolute than that. His entire soul is engraved not to crack. That’s what his entire being and purpose is about. Sure, there might be some relief when the first crack shows and the truth and his inner depths come pouring out. But what happens after that? He knows it won’t just be one little crack. There will be millions of tiny little pieces, swimming and drowing in his own blood. 

He knows his thoughts are too dark and his head is pounding too much. But at least he can focus on that. He can concnetrate on his breathing and his pulse and the clench inside his stomach that is still there. Alec’s vision is all Jace, Clary and Magnus Bane. From where he is standing, he can only see the warlock’s head. It’s not long before he spots the attacker. 

“Alec!..“ He can hear Izzy yell at him. But he’s already in action. The arrow is already gliding through the air. His brain did a good job. His hands worked well. His aim was great. Mission accomplished. That’s all there really is to it. That’s all there really is to him. He gets told to function, so he functions. Just like a good little robot. Maybe if he acted more like one all the time, he wouldn’t need his walls anymore. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

The first time Magnus Bane smiles at him, his body and mind don’t seem to know how to work. Magnus is enigmatic. He is like a lighthouse. Attracting everything and everyone around him for many, many reasons. Alec tries too be objective. Maybe Magnus is simply aesthetically pleasing. His skin is glowing, his cheekbones are sharp and his hair looks soft. But Alec already knows he shouldn’t be having thouse thoughts, his mind shouldn’t go to these places. The fluttering feeling in his stomach should not have sparked. He should not have smiled back at Magnus. His body feels like a traitor. He feels like he should get punished for this. He knows no one will be there to punish him because he will never confess. Perhaps he’ll just have to hit the punching bag extra hard next time. 

When Magnus compliments him (“pretty boy“) he feels hot all over. He tells himself it’s because he’s embarrassed and ashamed. He has to be ashamed of this, right? This isn’t normal, right? Boys should not compliment other boys. When he was younger, Alec tried to stand out. He tried to be the brave one, the leader, the best soldier there could be. And then came Jace. And he became the golden boy. Alec doesn’t blame him for that. He should have just tried harder. He only has himself to blame. Maybe then he wouldn’t have disappointed his parents so much. Maybe he wouldn’t always be someone’s second choice. So then he tried to blend in. Tried to be normal. Average. Just get the job done. And liking men... that’s not normal. He can’t add that to all the things resulting in disappontment and disgust. 

He feels Jace staring him, confused. Why is he confused? Is he confused that Magnus is flirting with him in a way that means that Magnus is anything but straight? Is he confused because Alec is not reacting? Or is he confused because it’s Alec he’s flirting with? I mean, why would anyone want to flirt with him? He really doesn’t have anything to offer. But he likes it that way. If he had anything to offer, there would automatically be expectations. Alec already has too many expectations to live up to. 

When only Izzy is left in the room with him, she doesn’t say anything at first. He knows she’s been paying attention this entire time. He doesn’t want to do this. He’s so tired of explaining why he can never be this way. Izzy calls all those explanations “excuses“. Fine. Maybe he’s tired of finding excuses then. He’s just tired. So, so tired. 

“I don’t remember the last time you smiled like that, you know?“ is all Izzy says to him. But he hears the underlying message. Loud and clear. (If it makes you happy, why resist it? If he makes you happy, why deny him?) 

“Yeah, well... maybe you don’t look at me enough“. He’s getting snappy. His walls are getting higher and higher.He feels incredibly vulnerable. He’s a warrior. There is no time or place for vulnerability. Vulnerability means weakness. Weakness mean injury. Injury means death. 

„I look at you all the time, Alec. I see you every day and I watch you. Don’t you want to know what I can see?“ Alec can’t answer. His throat is too tight. He’s blinking fast now. He’s not sure what his answer would be either way. He doesn’t like being analysed. He’d rather keep everything hidden and crammed tight together behind his heart. He has to think like a soldier. Less possibility of getting attacked. Izzy senses that he’s not going to give her an answer but she knows she has to keep going. They both know it. 

“I see you, Alec. And I see how miserable you are. Aren’t you tired of punishing yourself for something that is not your fault? Something that is out of your control? Or do you really love the pain all that much?“ Alec isn’t stupid. He knows he didn’t choose to feel this way. He knows there is nothing he can do to change it. And the pain he’s feeling... it helps him. It almost grounds him in a way. There is routine to it. His feelings are unpredictable. But the pain? Oh, he can rely on the pain. The sick feeling in his gut and the burn in his heart. Those are things he can deal with. But admitting that he liked the way Magnus’s eyes shined up at him? Or talking about the fact that Magnus made him feel wanted tonight? He doesn’t know what to do with that. At least, this way, he’s the only one getting hurt. A good soldier always protects his family. A legendary warrior will always take the hardest blow. He’s used to it, really. So it’s fine. 

It’s all fine. Nothing to talk about. He leaves the room before Izzy can say anything else. He thinks about the punching bag again. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Alec knows that there is nothing wrong with loving Jace. They grew up together. They are basically inseparable. They are brothers and parabatai. They’re family and they love eachother. It is given that they have a special bond and intimate memories. Jace and Alec spend every day together, they share every meal and they go one the same missions and they have the same daily routine. It would be absurd if they didn’t love eachother. Alec knows that the real problem is not the fact that he loves him. It’s the way he loves him. 

It’s the fact that he likes the way that their hands fit together. The fact that they make a perfect team during a fight. The fact that they can always, always rely on eachother. He trusts Jace more than anyone else, apart from Izzy. Jace came into his life and he didn’t feel alone anymore. They clicked. It was just that simple. Their dynamic was just easy. They earned eachother’s trust and it felt like all they could ever need. Alec doesn’t know where his brotherly feelings and maybe something else cross the line. He’s not even entirely sure if they do. Maybe he just loves Jace too much, too deeply. Maybe Jace is just another person he has failed now. Because he couldn’t love him the way he should. 

Jace got hurt because of him. Jace could have died. And it would have been his fault. He can’t even fathom that thought. He had to leave the room, this hous... this life ... for just one moment. He just didn’t want to be Alec Lightwood for one moment. He didn’t want to have all these feelings. Feelings ruined everything. Why was he so good at ruining everything? He didn’t hear Magnus come after him at first. Was he going to get lectured now, for letting go of his hands and messing it all up; putting everyone in danger? He’d deserve it anyway. Might as well hear it now. But no. Magnus came with kind words and left him with a kind smile. 

Would others be as kind? He is absolutely sure that Izzy would support him no matter what. She would probably even be proud of him, protect him from anything and anyone that would hurt her brother. But that’s not how it should be. He’s the brother. He should be protecting her. Not the other way around. He can’t be more of a burden than he already is. His parents would despise him, surely. Would call him an abomination, throw him out, ban him from their world. They could never love him like this. And Jace? What would his Jace say? He never wants to find out. He’d rather store all his feelings away completely than feel too much. That probably says a lot about him. (He’s wondered before... if there was a cure to take away all feelings... would he take it?)

He can’t talk to Jace right now. Can’t look him in the eyes. Can’t even apologize to him. He’s too much of a coward. Jace deserves better than that. He deserves a parabatai who won’t just let him down. Izzy deserves a brother who doesn’t make her worry constantly. His parents deserve to see a son who proves that all this training has been worth it. They’ve all invested so much time and energy into him. He has to find a way to make it up to all of them. He promises he will. He’ll train an extra hour tomorrow. He’ll kill the next demon on the agenda. He’ll follow the rules. Anything to make all of this go away (He’d definitely take the cure.)


	2. Moo Shu to Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He thinks of glittering eyes and digs his nails into the palms of his hands; crescent shapes appear and he can only hope they will diappear just like the moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolute Malec trash. I got dragged into hell and came back with this for you. 
> 
> I have way too many feelings about Alec Lightwood.
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> (set during 1x05)

What a stupid day. His mom caught him by surprise today and he is definitely not too fond of surprises. They shake him up and render him speechless for seconds that are too valuable to waste. His mother carries a sense of power with her that is intimidating and cold, a portrayal of superiority that might be fun to watch if you are not directly involved in the show. But somehow, Alec always is. Always found in the starring role but never smothered with praise and approval. No, these things are reserved for other people. He’s missed his mother, don’t get him wrong, but then again it never truly feels like Maryse is completely gone. Her presence and leadership always looming over the institute. Her expectations and doubts always troubling Alec’s mind.

And now he has been downgraded by her – personally – to play the babysitter. Maybe that’s just how she’s seen him all these years. Taking care of Jace and Izzy, making sure everything is working out, being the responsible one. No matter who pays the price. Concerning the safety of the family, there was never a price too high for Maryse. He did admire her for that. He definitely supported those morals. But the idea of keeping an eye on this new little girl – he’s refraining from calling her a brat – while Jace and Izzy are out there being hunters; he can’t support that idea. But he knows better than to say no. He also knows better than to spend too much time dwelling on the fact that he can still feel the spot on his arm that Jace touched. He knows his mind is being poisonous. It keeps repeating their conversation on a loop, making him nauseous, and Jace’s slight touch is burning, sending fire to curse through his veins. Perhaps that’s what feelings really are. Poison. Or maybe they should only be taken in a moderate dosis and he didn’t quite get it right.

His head is still not in the right place. Images pop into his mind throughout the day, just like they haunted him during the night. He thinks of glittering eyes and digs his nails into the palms of his hands; crescent shapes appear and he can only hope they will diappear just like the moon. Pictures of dark hair and silk shirts settle deep inside the core of his brain and no matter how many times he tries to blink them away, they won’t shift. Alec’s own thoughts are nagging at his sanity and he is pretty sure he’s on the way of getting a headache. Perfect. Just perfect. He refuses to believe that he also started thinking about shiny, perfect black nails and how they looked against the paleness of his skin. Or how this manicured hand also made him feel like burning up. But in a different way than Jace’s fingertips did. He definitely doesn’t know what to do with that. Alec’s emotions are like a bundle of twisted wires. He doesn’t know how to untangle and categorise them. No one ever taught him how to do that.

Maybe all of these circumstances have now lead him to teaching the girl. He thinks of himself as a good teacher. He’s disciplined and experienced. He knows the rules and instructions and is aware of how to execute them. Training is absolutely essential for a shadowhunter. And he is mature enough to know that someone has to train Clary. He just doesn’t get why it has to be him. Why is the universe so damn awful at times? He’s questioning the universe now and he doesn’t even believe in higher powers or fate. Maybe he’s just trying to find an explanation for what is going on with him. Maybe Alec already knows what is really the issue here. He’s just trying to blame it on someone else. Might as well blame it on the universe. Or Clary. Of course, in the back of his mind, he knows none of this is actually Clary’s fault. She has been thrown into this world without warning. He can’t imagine what she’s feeling right now, if he’s being honest. But Alec’s pride won’t let him say that out loud. In a sense, Clary is a threat to his pride. He is the eldest Lightwood son. He has built his entire life based on that fact. And then one day, some random red-haired girl comes walking in and seems to have everyone wrapped around her finger; including Jace. If the universe does have something to do with this, Alec wonders what he did to piss it off that much.

“Hello, who is this?“, Alec answers his phone. Please don’t let this be someone else from the Clave. He is already so done with this entire day. He doesn’t want to update his list of issues yet again. But no matter what this is about, he definitely doesn’t want the little girl eavesdropping. He steps away a bit further, turning his back towards her. The more she hears, the more she’ll want to get involved.

* * *

 

“Alexander. Hi, it’s Magnus. We met the other day.. you know, with the demon..“ Wait, what? How is this happening right now? How does Magnus Bane have his number? Right. Magnus Bane. High warlock of Brooklyn. Guess he has his ways. The way Magnus says his name – his full name – sends a slight chill down his spine. He feels oddly vulnerable in his thin shirt right now. He remembers how Magnus looked at him the other night. Like he could see right through him. One of Alec’s darkest nightmares is his layers of skin being peeled back, inch by inch, baring open his veins and arteries, black with blood and secrets. Alec doesn’t want to be seen. Maybe he could allow Magnus just a peek. Magnus’s voice seems to do things to him he can’t explain. Maybe he’s just losing all rationality. It’s probably just the lack of sleep. And his headache.

“Uh.. yeah. Yeah, hey. What’s up?“ Small talk is probably not one of Alec’s best talents. He’s usually not found in any social situations where it is required. Normally, he likes to get straight to the point. Less time wasted that way. But something about Magnus...makes him want to drag out each syllable slowly and carefully. His brain cells seem to want to hang on to every word the warlock says. He himself wants to get lost in Magnus’s words and he keeps thinking of the way Magnus’s eyes seemed to lose himself in his own. He knows there is something dangerous about getting lost; you might be gone forever. You might never be found again. Alec can think of worse things to happen. Especially since Magnus knew exactly where to find him. Even that night, in a room with other people, he made Alec his centre of attention. It seemed like his eyes stayed on Alec at every possibility and he can’t help but be selfish now and hope that Magnus clings to every word he says and actually listens to him. It’s such a simple thing, really. But not a lot of people have given him the time of their day lately. Alec can’t help but relish in it. So what if he’s being selfish? No one’s listening.

“I was just thinking..it was really nice getting to know you .You seem..sympathetic. Would you like to go out for a drink some time?“ It’s ridiculous, how casual Magnus sounds. Does he do this a lot then, asking strangers out for drinks? Maybe Alec is reading this all wrong. Maybe Magnus needs his help with something, another demon problem. That must be it. Alec doesn’t want that to be it. He realizes he wants to see Magnus again, wants to spend time with him again. Not out of duty or business. In that moment, he has to admit he has been thinking about Magnus, even in moments he didn’t want to. His subconscious kind of made that decision for him. And all of Alec’s alarm bells are ringing. Red colors flash through his mind and he hears a mantra of “danger“ and “bad idea“ echoing in his ears. But he can also feel the color red seeping through his entire body. A tingling warmth and heat; he can’t pinpoint where it begins or ends. It courses through his cells, vibrates deep within him and makes his mouth go dry. But he does manage to say...

“That sounds fun. Um.. when?“ See, Alec doesn’t do a lot of fun things. Alec does a lot of things that are hard, tough and exhausting. And when he’s done with that he moves on to the boring but necessary bits that come with his Shadowhunter life. There isn’t really any time for fun. Sure, Izzy and him will always crack a joke when they can and share stories during dinner but the weight of the non-fun world never quite leaves his shoulders. Just this, talking to Magnus on the phone, makes the weight a little lighter. Or maybe it makes him able to forget how heavy it really is and perhaps it makes the pain not so unbearable. He feels like he is able to breathe again and the ties around his heart are slightly loosening up. He’s terrified. They might become too loose and he will never be able to tame his heart again. It’s a truly terrifyingly liberating thought.

“How about right now?“ Yes, yes please. Alec would love to leave right now. But he has a schedule and obligations and orders. They all have something to do with one newbie. He turns back towards her and... where on earth did she go? Is his level of authority really so weak that he can’t get a teenager to listen to him? He needs to act fast now or this horribly stupid day will turn out to be even more miserable for everyone involved. He doesn’t want to let his anger out on Magnus but he knows his voice is no longer leveled when he says

“Um. You know now is not really a good time for me. Another time. Gotta go.“ He pretty much cringes instantly when he has to say those words. Alec can’t even imagine what Magnus must think of him right now. Magnus, who has been nothing but polite to him. Magnus, who is lord knows how many centuries old. He is pretty damn sure manners are a big thing for the warlock. And Alec is also sure he completely failed in that department. He feels like such a kid right now. He feels literally two years old, like someone forgot to teach him how to talk properly. They skipped that part and now they expect him to know how to walk. Alec is not allowed to fail any expectations, so he runs after Clary.

* * *

 

 The day is nearly over. It’s raining. The clouds pouring out so much water that the streets can barely contain all of it. Alec is sitting in his room and he almost envies the weather gods. They never seem to run out of giving; expressing their power by releasing their energy onto the world to be frightened by and pleased with. Alec Lightwood has never felt more drained in his entire life. Physically and emotionally. And he doesn’t even do emotions. Maybe he has been empty all this time and he just never noticed. He’s messed up before, he’s failed his loved ones and he’s disappointed his family. He can’t remember it hurting quite like this. Or is that just how it goes? You go through life, getting hurt over and over again. After each time you forget how bad it hurt and when it inevitably happens again you end up paralyzed by the pain. Perhaps it’s the people around us that make us forget about the constant repetitive suffering of this life. But it might just be the same people who keep triggering it. When Jace said that his mother might have been correct, that maybe Alec’s best just isn’t good enough, he didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? How do you counter the truth? You don’t, because you can’t. Alec can only learn how to accept it. He has been studying the art of acceptance his entire life and , well, that’s just another thing he has failed then. He can’t help but be angry at Jace. So, so angry. He thought feeling anger, rage even, might be easier. It usually sets things into action instead of making one dwell over things eternally. But nothing has changed. No groundbreaking steps were taken today. Alec is still here, willing to make it all go away, focusing on the hollowing silence in his room.

There is a knock on his door. Then a second, slightly louder one.

“Come in.“ The door creaks open carefully as he turns his body completely towards the person entering. It’s Izzy. The smile on her face is tentative, her step is slow. It looks like she just entered the cage of an animal. Not a dangerous one, though. No, a skittish deer who might run away any second if you come too close. Alec knows better than to run away now. It’s a fight he would undoubtedly lose. His sister is too determined. Fight or flight

“Hey. Just thought I’d check up on you before the bed bugs bite you. “ She sits down gently, right next to him. He loves her for this. For knowing when he really wants to be left alone and when a bit of company might actually do more good than bad for him. Her face looks soft and she still smells like vanilla but he can see that her eyes are tired. She’s had a long day, too. That’s a thing Alec does sometimes. He goes inside himself and is surrounded by his own inner darkness that he can’t see anything else. Anyone else. Sometimes he is a shadow of himself, yes. But he is not a robot. He might not be good at dealing with his own feelings, but he’ll be damned if he hurts his sister’s.

“Izzy. Hi. No need to worry. I’m all good, trust me.“ He has to pretend. Otherwise the ugly truth would come crawling out of his throat, leaving him hoarse for an idefinite amount of time.

“Okay. I know you are. Just...if you weren’t, that’d be okay too, you know? “ She lays her hand over his and he can’t help but stare at it. Her fingers are so much smaller than his. He remembers when they were younger, how she used to grab his hand right before she was next up at training. He has always felt like her protector, engulfing her and shielding her from all evil whenever necessary. The only one he can’t protect her from seems to be his own mother. He wishes he could tell her how sorry he is. He wishes he could express how much he cares about her. A girl who loves so deeply and unforgivingly. He wishes she could teach him how to love like that.

“Really, Izzy. It’s all cool. We should probably both catch some sleep now. Who knows what’s gonna happen tomorrow.“ He doubts he’ll be well-rested in the morning. His body still feels like he walked into an electric fence; numbing him but making him shake from within.

“Right. Do you think tomorrow will be better then?.“ He lifts his eyes to hers and all he can see is pain. No pity. That’s not what she’s here for. She knows that’s not what he wants or needs. Maybe it’s just a reflection of his own eyes.

“Or the next day? Or the day after that?“ He tries to pull his hand away but she grips his fingers firmly. Not demanding, never painful. She’s begging him.

“Do you think you will be better by then, Alec?“ He hates that he does that to her. That he makes her worry so much. He’s about to answer her (I’m fine) but she doesn’t give him a chance.

“Don’t. Dont’t lie to me. I’d rather not hear anything, than listen to another lie.“ She deserves an answer, though. She puts up with so much, the least thing the deserves is an answer. But he can’t even give her that. Pathetic. She lets go of his hand and stands up. He’s staring at his bed, contemplating her question. Another thing that will keep him up tonight.

“Just.. answer this one question then. Please. Honestly.“ She’s standing by the door, the handle already in her hand. He nods. Deal.

“Magnus Bane... Has he called you yet ?“ His mouth is opening as her lips are turning into a full on smirk. How does she-? What?

“What? Wh- Why would he.. what the fuck, Izzy?” He gets up off the bed too now. Frustration building up inside of him.

“Oh, come on, Alec. I gave him your number. Don’t you think I deserve to know if my matchmaking skills paid off at all?” She gave him his number. Izzy gave Magnus his number. She wanted to know what would happen. Is she satisfied now? Seeing him in the state he’s in? He stares at her, mouth still wide open. Unbelieving. Her face does look awfully smug. Cupid personified with a devil’s tail.

“Go on then. I was promised an answer.” If he tells her yes, she’ll want to know every detail. She’ll want to know what Magnus said. Even worse. She’ll want to know what he said.

“Ah. You know what… I think your non-existent pokerface is answer enough for me right now. Sleep tight, big brother.” She’s out the door before he can call after her. He can feel the blush high on his cheeks. His entire face feels red. He should probably go after her. Explain himself to her.

But there was no judgment on her face. He decides to let her go.

He’s alone in his room again but his thoughts are no longer a whirlwind of thunderbolts and tornados. His mind seems clearer now. Maybe it’s the calm after the storm. Or the one before the next big hurricane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments. When I posted that first chapter I thought maybe 10 or 15 people would read it. I got pleasantly surprised. 
> 
> Every comment and kudo truly makes me smile. Thank you. I haven't been in this fandom very long and you're all such a lovely bunch. 
> 
> See ya!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. 
> 
> Kudos and comments do motivate me, of course. 
> 
> This can either just be a little oneshot or -if you want more- I have plans to do this for the Malec scenes in 1x05 (Phone call), 1x06, 1x08 and 1x09 (and future episodes). 
> 
> Just let me know. See ya!


End file.
